


Enjoy the Silence

by hallelujah99



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Ficlet, Fluffy, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallelujah99/pseuds/hallelujah99
Summary: Cyrus has been wondering how to find the words to tell TJ how he feels, but he learns sometimes words just aren't unnecessary.





	Enjoy the Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely on "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode

Cyrus's first word was Mama. Of course, he didn't remember that, but he had seen videos of him, in his mother's arms, babbling "Mamamamamamama" as his mother encouraged and rewarded him for this early attempt at communication. 

At his Bubbe's house, as a child, he was taught Yiddish words, simple words like "Hello" and the names of colors. Starting in pre-kindergarten, he learned to read and write words. As he prepared for his Bar Mitzvah, he learned Hebrew, the new sounds feeling awkward and foreign in his mouth at first, but quickly becoming familiar. And when Jonah dated Libby, he promptly found himself online, finding such joy in using his hands and face to express words. "Happy," he'd say, using an open hand to brush upwards on his chest. "Mad," his hand, open, palm in front of his face, bending the fingers in while furrowing his brow. 

Words failed him often, though. His anxiety would get the better of him, and he'd trip over his tongue. Sometimes he wouldn't know what to say at all, other times he knew what he wanted to say but just not how to say it. 

He knew what he wanted to say to TJ. He wanted to tell him that he was gay, that he had feelings for him, that some part of him was starting to think that maybe this feeling was mutual. But as he lay next to him in his bed, the words escaped him. As TJ dozed off, Cyrus laid next to him, wide awake with questions floating in his head.

Was it…normal? For two guys to be sharing a bed at a sleepover? His previous sleepovers had always been with Buffy and Andi, the three in their own sleeping bags on the floor. 

Was it…reasonable? His belief that TJ might possibly feel the same way? He looked around at the basketball posters covering his bedroom walls. He didn't want to stereotype, and he didn't even fully form the words to express the idea in his head, that athletic guys aren't usually gay-or at least, they won't admit it at 14. 

He looked over at TJ, and the soft curve of his face, his eyelids closed, his chest rising and falling slowly. There weren't words he could put to what he was looking at, his heart and his emotions overpowered his ability to formulate language to describe the way he felt. 

How could he ever, ever find the right words. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd be a lot better off just playing the part of a best friend until it killed him. Laying next to a sleeping TJ, it felt like the secret was too much to put words to internally, much less speak aloud. 

As Cyrus got comfortable and drifted off to sleep, he decided maybe he really ought to just keep it to himself, after all. 

Cyrus woke up to a bit of sun across his face. It took him a second to orient himself, but he realized that somehow, in his sleep, TJ had managed to throw an arm over him, and the two were now face to face, very close. TJ was still asleep, though, unaware of his actions.

Cyrus allowed himself to drift into a light sleep, but remained semi-aware of his surroundings. He didn't want to miss a second of this feeling-being held a boy, the boy he'd been pining over. It was all he'd wanted, and somehow, TJ's unconscious body had pulled him in, giving him this little sliver of heaven. 

Cyrus laid there, in his semi-conscious dream state for some amount of time he couldn't guess at. Eyes closed, no thoughts on his mind, just lying perfectly still and feeling the warmth of TJ against him, the gentle weight of his arm around his waist. 

Cyrus didn't quite notice it when TJ started to stir, and when TJ moved to pull his arm off of Cyrus, it was by some instinctual force that Cyrus reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling it back down on top of him. He didn't even notice what he'd done until TJ gave him an affectionate squeeze. He looked up at TJ then, faces just inches apart. 

He could see that TJ's eyelids were still heavy, as were his own. But he could see the smile on TJ's face as he looked down at him, and he knew that TJ was fully experiencing this moment, too. 

Cyrus found that for once in his life, he didn't feel like he needed to say anything. He just laid there, smiling up at TJ, feeling like everything was comfortably in place. TJ was holding him. Smiling at him. Keeping him close. He didn't need to ask any questions. They could use words to sort everything out later. For now, it felt right just to enjoy the silence while feeling TJ's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Happy Tyrus week everyone! I'd love to see any comments you might have! Thanks!
> 
> And thanks to my Betareader (is that still a word?!), opatrickr! You're the best :)


End file.
